From the In-Box of The Galactic Empire’s worst engineer:
Subject Death Star
From Foreman Galhi <fgalhi@empiremail.com>
Date A Long Time Ago 8:13 PM
To Nardo Pace <npace@empiremail.com>Keep your chin up, ok? Don’t let the whole “Death Star getting blown up” thing get you down.
It’s really my fault just as much as it is yours. Your original plan called for three weak spots, and I asked you to cut it down to one. If I had suggested we get rid of the weak spots altogether none of this would have happened.
What do we do now? Mope? No. We learn from our mistakes and make an adjustment to the blueprint for the new Death Star I’m working on.
Construction is going great, by the way. As you suggested, instead of constructing a defensive shell around the framework then working my way inward, I’m just building all the cool stuff in the middle first. I think you’re right, it’s the best way to go.
(…)
Subject This darn bottomless shaft in my room
From Emperor Palpatine <bigbossman@empiremail.com>
Date A Long Time Ago 1:42 AM
To Nardo Pace <npace@empiremail.com>You are responsible for designing my Throne Room, yes? Do not doubt it. I can see the truth inside you. It burns with a twisted blackness that cannot be denied.
I ask you this: Why is there a chasm in my room? Was it really necessary? What purpose does it serve? Nothing useful has ever come of it. In fact, sometimes when I awake in the middle of the night and stumble in the darkness while making my way to the Imperial Restroom, I mistakenly wobble along the shaft’s edge. I also bump my knee on the Imperial Coffee Table, but that is another matter.
I’m expecting very important company today, but I fully expect that you will draw up plans for a grate to cover this errant hole and have someone build it tomorrow. It is your destiny.
Heh.
