A trio of politicians in a small town in New Jersey have uncovered the latest chapter in al Qaeda’s nefarious scheme….. Gumballs
Three Dover officials say they’ve found a serious homeland security threat to chew on: gumballs.
They worry the colorful round treats could be poisoned by an enterprising terrorist who sees them as bait for unsuspecting targets — young kids.
So, with the approval of the mayor and the skepticism of the police chief in this central Morris County town of 18,000, the three aldermen are in the middle of a nine-month inspection of Dover’s coin-operated gumball and candy machines. Thus far, they have surveyed 103 local businesses about their machines.
Led by Alderman Frank Poolas, who envisioned the project and enlisted the aid of fellow Aldermen Jack Delaney and Michael Picciallo, the trio began their investigation six months ago and plan to report their results to Mayor James Dodd Jan. 1.
Already they say they’ve discovered more than 100 unlicensed coin-operated machines in town — many filled with gumballs, jawbreakers and other candies they call perfect for potential terrorists.
The security threat should be “looked at seriously in light of what has happened so far,” said Poolas. “Someone who wanted to do harm really could.”
That’s right, forget about airliners, tanker trucks, or even dirty bombs. Those darn terrorists are coming after our gumballs.
Is nothing scared ?
October 13th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
The whole issue is blown out of whack. The aldermen were asked to do a count on coin operated machines in the town, for tax reasons. ( that would be part of their elected job.) a reporter at a town meeting mis-heard some comments, specifically about there being a large amount of un-registered machines, and making a registry for them. one of the alderman made an off the cuff comment to another about the recent issues of tainted food coming from china, and wondered out loud where the candy in the machines came from. The comment was made that kids could get sick if the candy was tainted. The reporter mis-quoted, and it became a huge issue.
The New York Times has the correct story.