Now that it appears that there will indeed be a debate tonight, Wonkette is out with a game designed to help the candidates actually make sense:
Whenever John McCain says “My Friends”:
Two drinks (or one shot), poke the breast of the person to your right and smile creepily.
When Barack Obama shakes his head with dignity:
Shake your own head with dignity, take the beverage from the person to your left, and tell them to go get you a new drink because you are not going to get AIDS from their backwash/lipstick.
When you see the black abyss of Jim Lehrer’s lifeless eyes, which are lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes ….
Cross yourself, tell everybody you didn’t know you were a Catholic, and chase a shot of whisky with a gulp of red wine.
When Lehrer first says that while he knows this was supposed to be a debate about Foreign Policy ….
Chug your entire beer or drain your glass and pour a shot for immediate consumption when he completes this with something along the lines of:
“But an extraordinary situation has developed within our financial system, something both of you know from your trip to the White House yesterday ….”
LIGHTNING ROUND:
When McCain says anything about his family:
Angrily drink half a beer or half a glass of wine and call your host a cunt.
When Obama stutters about some foreign-policy trick question probably about Israel:
Get on your knees, look to the East, and do a shot.
When McCain makes his first reference to being a prisoner of war:
Everybody get in a box and take a Vicodin.
At McCain’s second reference to being a POW:
Two shots, punch the person next to you in the biceps, demand a confession.
Third POW reference:
Five-and-a-half shots.
PRESCRIPTION FOR (GREATEST) DEPRESSION:
When McCain tries to articulate his non-existent economic policy and/or bailout plan:
Fight your friends for change under the couch cushions, pass around a joint because who can afford fancy store-bought booze anymore?
When Obama acknowledges that the financial crisis may limit the amount of Hope and Change his administration can afford:
Immediately finish off the best bottle of liquor in the house, because who the hell is ever going to see that again.
When McCain is unable to remember either the number of mansions, number of cars or number of millions he (and Cindy) own:
One Ambien, chased with one shot, followed with Metamucil dumped in a gin & tonic.
McCain actually has a muppet (probably Beaker) pop up next to him and do the talking:
Everybody do three lines of coke, take off your clothes and GET IN THE TANK.
Works for me.
I’ll be watching the debate, and will be back here after it’s over with my own comments and observations.
Also, to the extent I’m able to keep up, I’ll be commenting on the proceedings in 140 character bursts via my Twitter account
In the meantime, you can enjoy live-blogging from Libertarian Party Presidential candidate Bob Barr, Jason Pye and Stephen Green.
Hahahaha!
After watching the candidate’s debate last night, it became apparent that Obama would be better to play the President in a movie, but McCain is the man who can actually do the job. Obama is like a movie set. He looks good, but behind the facade, there’s nothing there. When you have no track record, like Obama, all you can do is criticize and attack America … whereas McCain, who has actually contributed to this country for decades, obviously loves America. I never felt like Obama has sincere pride and love for this country, he just seems to be in this for personal ambition.
[...] like last week’s Presidential debate, Wonkette is out with a drinking game designed to make Sarah Palin and Joe Biden even more [...]