A humorous alternate reality:
JAN. 20, 2009
Inauguration Day arrives and Barr “reluctantly” accedes to being sworn in on a statutorily mandated date. Visibly irked by Chief Justice John Roberts’ attempt to have him swear on a Bible, Barr mumbles that he recognizes no authority and instead suggests that he swear on his own moustache. Veep-elect Wayne Allen Root stays at home in Las Vegas, texting the frantic Inaugural Committee Chairman: “u cant tell me wht 2 do.” Alaska Governor Sarah Palin suggests she be sworn in instead, and her knowing wink and winning smile earn the Chairman’s capitulation. Roberts tells her she’s “way hotter in person.”
JAN. 21, 2009
Libertarian accolades pour in after Barr spends the day doing nothing.
JAN. 28, 2009
The Revolutionary War-era “Don’t Tread On Me” flag is reinstated as the official banner of the United States. Barr beams with pride as millions, ignoring the flag’s command, unfurl and stomp on it.
MARCH 15, 2009
Barr’s Executive Order No. 70083, signed at 9 a.m., officially eliminates federal enforcement of National Parks protections. By 10:30 a.m., an intoxicated Todd Palin is spotted tearing up Gettysburg on an ATV. His rifle-toting wife is reported to be trying to rent an airplane near ÂYellowstone.
(…)
DEC. 17, 2009
Prostitution is officially decriminalized. Eliot Spitzer high-fives an imaginary friend and returns to begging for change.
Heh
H/T: Bob Barr 2008 Blog
