Jazz Shaw uncovers a scandal of monumental proportions:
Today we take a sad look back at the dark day in 2006 when Kraft Foods made the horrible decision to change the recipe for Miracle Whip. In one fell swoop they destroyed a classic American tradition and pushed civilization one step closer to the abyss. We’ve never fully recovered.
They took the soy oil out of the product and replaced it with a larger volume of water. This not only killed some of the flavor and thinned the consistency but also shortened its shelf life.
(…)
They claim to have tinkered with the recipe in response to public demand, but it’s still not the same as the product I grew up with. And you won’t get any sort of admission of guilt from those bastards at Kraft. Their history page lists all sorts of wonderful things but no mention is made of this nefarious plot.
No doubt sent down some version of Winston Smith’s memory hole.
I was a die-hard Miracle Whip partisan back in the day, only to switch to one of those “light” mayonnaise things for “health reasons.” Recently, I just said the heck with it and bought a jar to use for lunch and there was something…..different.
They’ve tinkered with Miracle Whip. This is an offense that cannot go on unpunished.
Let the rally cry go out:
CURSE YOU KRAFT FOODS!
