Sometimes, you just gotta eat:

McDonald’s might need to enlist its Big Mouth Billy Bass Singing Fish, made famous in its TV ads, to “bring back” that fish one impatient customer took at its restaurant in South Brunswick, N.J.

Police said the customer crawled out of his car and into the drive thru window to get his fish sandwich, after slapping the McDonald’s employee in the face.

“His Filet-O-Fish was taking too long at 4:30 in the morning,” said South Brunswick Police Detective Sergeant James Ryan to NBCNewYork.

According to Ryan, the customer yelled at the employee and pushed him against the counter.

Perhaps suggesting how hungry the suspect was, Ryan said he then threatened the employee by telling him “I’ll be waiting for you when you get off work.”

The police report said the suspect “then walked out of the store with his fish filet sandwich,” went to his car, still parked in the drive thru lane and left.

A Filet-o-Fish at 4:30 in the morning ?

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If I had to guess, I’d say that many of us aren’t drinking what we’d truly like to drink. A friend of mine frequently orders Pimms to remind people of her stints abroad, though I suspect she longs for vodka tonic. And in my household, in addition to my unrequited predilection for Drinks With Umbrellas, I recently learned that my husband hated the taste of beer in high school and so insisted on White Mountain, a “malternative” beverage. And by insisted I mean that he forced the kid with the fake ID to not only risk his neck buying beer but also his reputation by adding a case of White Mountain with nary a teenage girl in sight. My husband also sometimes pours himself a glass of apple juice and nurses it, pretending it’s whiskey. (I’m not sure why. Actually, I’m not sure why he even admitted that to me.) And yet the Macallan nestles up against the Hendricks in our liquor cabinet.

What are we all trying to prove? Clearly we should hop on the nearest jet ski and propel ourselves to a swim-up bar. But what we choose to drink can reveal more about us than, say, our astrological sign or whether we prefer Elvis or the Beatles. What a tense moment, to be the first to order a drink with a group of people you haven’t hung out with before. Do you order a beer to let them know you’re easygoing? Do you order champagne to convey that you’re the fun, sassy type who likes to celebrate ordinary moments? Do you order scotch to let them know that you might start to get kind of intense in a couple hours? Do you order a Merlot, as if “Sideways” taught you nothing?

For me it’s Tanquerey and Tonic, although I’m not adverse to a good glass or wine or two, including Merlot; I hated Sideways.

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Today we take a sad look back at the dark day in 2006 when Kraft Foods made the horrible decision to change the recipe for Miracle Whip. In one fell swoop they destroyed a classic American tradition and pushed civilization one step closer to the abyss. We’ve never fully recovered.

They took the soy oil out of the product and replaced it with a larger volume of water. This not only killed some of the flavor and thinned the consistency but also shortened its shelf life.

(…)

They claim to have tinkered with the recipe in response to public demand, but it’s still not the same as the product I grew up with. And you won’t get any sort of admission of guilt from those bastards at Kraft. Their history page lists all sorts of wonderful things but no mention is made of this nefarious plot.

No doubt sent down some version of Winston Smith’s memory hole.

I was a die-hard Miracle Whip partisan back in the day, only to switch to one of those “light” mayonnaise things for “health reasons.” Recently, I just said the heck with it and bought a jar to use for lunch and there was something…..different.

They’ve tinkered with Miracle Whip. This is an offense that cannot go on unpunished.

Let the rally cry go out:

CURSE YOU KRAFT FOODS!

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There really isn’t anything bad I can say about last night. The atmosphere was great and the food was absolutely perfect. One thing we both appreciated is the fact that the menu incorporates a lot of local recipes and ingredients from the Virginia/Maryland area, including a wine list that has more Virginia wines than I’ve seen at most downtown restaurants.

We’ll definitely be back here again, and if you’re in the area (it’s near the D.C. Convention Center), it’s worth checking out.

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Several months ago, Kellie and I were clued into something called Tastings Journal.

Once a month, for at least a week and sometimes longer, they team up with a restaurant in the D.C. area to offer a four or five course tasting menu, usually including paired wines or other drinks, for what are really good prices (typically from $ 45 to $ 55 per person for the entire tasting).

Thanks to these guys, we’ve discovered two great restaurants we might not have found otherwise; Cabanas at Georgetown Harbour and 100 King in Alexandria. Next week, we’ll be going to a new restaurant downtown and the tasting menu there looks great.

If you’re interested, you can go to their website and sign up to get on the mailing list.

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To all those state legislators who have ever neglected weighty issues in favor of fluff, the politicians of Massachusetts have now done you one better. They spent last week debating the merits of Fluff, with a capital “F” — the marshmallow cream that many New Englanders consider the ideal accompaniment to peanut butter.

“Fluffergate,” as one pol named it, began when the son of state Sen. Jarrett T. Barrios (D) reported that his elementary school in Cambridge gave students the option of eating Fluffernutter sandwiches for lunch. A Fluffernutter is, of course, made with peanut butter and Fluff — an amalgam of corn syrup, sugar syrup, vanilla flavor and egg whites.

Fearing for the nutrition of school lunches, Barrios proposed a measure that would limit schools to one Fluffernutter day per week. That brought complaints from the Lynn, Mass., company that makes Fluff, which says its product is far more healthful than it might seem, given that it is marshmallow goo. Fluff has just 60 calories per serving, they say.

They used to say that puritans were people horrified over the idea that someone somewhere was having fun. Well, meet the New Puritans, who get horrified over the idea that someone, somewhere is eating something tasty.

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Any recipe that calls for four bottles of wine sounds good to me.

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After getting a late start on the day, Kellie, Raymond, and I hung out at home for a good part of the day just talking and relaxing. Running hard during the week makes it difficult to do that sometimes, and I really appreciated the down time.

For dinner, we went to The Oceanaire Seafood Room. If you’re ever in the Washington, D.C. area and you’re a seafood fan, this is the place to go. I’ve been a fan of this place for five years but really only get to go there on special occasions. They’ve also got locations in Atlanta, Dallas, San Diego, Indianapolis, Seattle, and Minneapolis.

After dinner, we spent about an hour driving around downtown D.C. looking at the monuments at night. Today, its back downtown to the National Mall.

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