Warning, though, the review is probably not safe for work due to lots and lots of adult language.

Here’s Part One of the Phantom Menace video:

And here are the links for parts two, three, four, five, six, and seven.

And here’s Part One of the AOTC review:

And the links for parts two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine.

I’m looking forward to their Revenge Of The Sith review.

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While the success of the film continues to grow as it steadily increases its number of theaters, the majority of younger filmgoers are missing this boat. Why is that? They don’t care about reviews, perhaps. They also resist a choice that is not in step with their peer group. Having joined the crowd at “Transformers,” they’re making their plans to see “G. I. Joe.” Some may have heard about “The Hurt Locker,” but simply lack the nerve to suggest a movie choice that involves a departure from groupthink.

(…)

If I mention the cliché “the dumbing-down of America,” it’s only because there’s no way around it. And this dumbing-down seems more pronounced among younger Americans. It has nothing to do with higher educational or income levels. It proceeds from a lack of curiosity and, in many cases, a criminally useless system of primary and secondary education. Until a few decades ago, almost all high school graduates could read a daily newspaper. The issue today is not whether they read a daily paper, but whether they can.

This trend coincides with the growing effectiveness of advertising and marketing campaigns to impose box office success on heavily-promoted GCI blockbusters, which are themselves often promotions for video games. No checks and balances prevail. The mass media is the bitch of marketing. Almost every single second of television coverage of the movies is devoted to thinly-veiled promotion. Movie stars who appear as guests on talk shows and cable news are almost always there because they have a new movie coming out. Smart-ass satirical commentary, in long-traditional in places like Mad magazine and SNL, is drowned out by celebrity hype

The result, Ebert contends, is that the flashy CGI movies with either no plot at all, or one that makes absolutely no logical sense, get all the box office attention, while truly good movies get ignored. And, American movie-going is entering what Ebert refers to as a “dark age.”

Peter Suderman, who’s guest-blogging at Andrew Sullivan’s place this week, initially accused Ebert of sour grapes over the fact that professional movie critics are far less influential today than they used to be:

Numbers aside, I think Ebert’s gripes are really just a proxy for something more personal. What Ebert’s really complaining about, it seems to me, are declining prospects and influence for movie critics. Critics at daily papers all over the country are being let go. And Transformers 2 was so successful, despite overwhelmingly negative reviews, that, for the release of G.I. Joe, the film’s studio declined to show the movie to most critics—a move typically associated with extremely low-budget, second-rate genre films rather than with big-budget summer tentpoles. It’s not much of a trend, but it does suggest that the opinions of professional movie-watchers may not matter as much as they used to.

In today’s world, anyone with a computer and internet access can be a movie critic and a teenager with a cell phone probably has more influence on who sees what movie than Ebert or any other movie critic. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s way the world is. Moreover, while it’s true that most of what Hollywood puts out is crap, that’s been true for a long time:

Big, dumb movies are often popular, and smart, small films are often not. But that’s been the case for decades, sagging newspaper sales or no.

If you want to know who’s to blame for crappy movies, look in the mirror.

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To be honest, I don’t think I’ve laughed quite as much for that long in quite a long time. For the long-time Simpsons fan, there’s everything you’d come to expect. Homer being Homer. Bart being Bart. And Springfield nearly getting destroyed, again. Outside of the family, though, most of the other characters take a secondary role in this movie, some of them barely getting a single line in.

But that’s okay.

And even if you’ve never seen The Simpsons, I I’d say this movie would be enjoyable. Don’t look for a deep plot, just go to have fun.

There were alot of parts of the movie that were great, but the one that took the cake was this one, when nearly the whole audience started singing along with Homer:

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Because I Said So: Diane Keaton plays the same character she played in Something’s Gotta Give and The Family Stone. Only this time with a different, much less entertaining cast and script. Skip it

Catch And Release: What was the point, or even the plot, of this one ? Don’t ask me. Skip it.

Freedom Writers: Hillary Swank in a true-to-life story about a teacher in inner-city Los Angeles after teh Rodney King riots. Actually, a pretty good movie.

Music And Lyrics: Yes, it’s a chick flick, but not a completely bad one. And anyone who grew up in the `80’s will appreciate the cultural refer
erences.

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Matthew McConaughey plays Jack Lengyl, the coach who came in to rebuild a shattered football program that was nearly ended altogether after the tragedy and how that team became a rallying point for the school and the entire town of Huntington, West Virginia.

It’s a feel good movie for sure, but one well-worth seeing on the big screen.

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It was billed as a comedy but wasn’t very funny. And, at most moments, was really quite bizarre. If you’re walking down the video aisle this weekend, take my advice and avoid this one.

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I’m not ashamed to say it. I loved this movie. Not only it is reminiscent of everything that was great about Rocky and Rocky II, it was just the kind of feel-good root-for-the-hero movie that Hollywood seems to have forgotten how to produce.

Watching this movie, it’s makes it easier to see why the first movie in this series won an Oscar for Best Picture, and why Sylvester Stallone was nominated for Best Actor. The story itself is inspiring (who the heck can’t be inspired when that music starts ?), and Stallone’s performance here, and in the first two movies, shows something he really hasn’t shown anywhere else. It’s as if the character and the actor are one and the same, and maybe that’s not too far off.

The most I can say about this movie for those who might be skeptical is this…..give it a chance. Put aside the fact that the Rocky franchise is 30 years old and just prepare to root for the good guy.

Update: This comment from James Young, reminds me of what may be the best line of the entire Rocky series:

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean, and nasty place an’ no matter how tough you think you are, it’ll always beat you if you let it. It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That?s how winning is done! If you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointin’ fingers saying you ain?t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain?t you! You?re better than that!

That is what this movie, and Rocky and Rocky II, are really all about.

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Well, for once, a movie has lived up to the hype.

Craig is fabulous in the role, which bodes well for what looks like it will be a re-imagined version of the Bond series. Kellie was actually the first to notice this, but the movie definitely has a 24-like feel to it, although not in a copycat way. The action sequences, especially a chase sequence near the very beginning of the movie, were fabulous. And, of course, there were the Bond gadgets and the Bond girls. In other words, something for everyone.

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Our movie of choice was only my favorite movie of all time, The Godfather. I’ve seen this movie seven times now, and it hasn’t lost any of the magic that it had that first time I saw it more than 15 years ago.

It’s difficult to put into words just how good this movie really is. Al Pacino’s performance as Michael Corleone — the clean-cut war hero who told his girlfriend at the start of the movie “That’s my family Kay, it’s not me.” — is truly astounding. Slowly but surely he shows us Michael’s descent into evil in the name of protecting his family, a decision that cuts him off from the woman he loves (something that is foreshadowed early in the film when he learns that his father has been shot and, going into a phone booth to call home, closes the door between Kay and himself). Then he makes the fateful decision to take on “The Turk” and a corrupt cop, and his fate is sealed. From there, it doesn’t take long before he inherits his father’s empire and settles scores with his enemies.

One of my favorite sequences in the film comes when Michael visits his father in the hospital. When he arrives, the hospital is almost completely empty. Nobody at the front desk. Nobody at the nurse’s station. And, more importantly, no bodyguards protecting Don Vito. We learn from the only nurse who seems to be left that the police forced the men to leave and it becomes clear that this is setup, and that men are coming to finish the job they started. The music throughout this sequence echoes the increasing tension of the situation, interrupted only by the footfalls of a man coming up the stairs. An assassin ? No, it turns out to be Enzo, a baker who was able to remain in the country thanks to the Don’s political connections. Michael enlists Enzo to stand outside the hospital with him pretending to be bodyguards, which is enough to convince a car full of hit men to drive away.

It’s in the middle of all this, though, that Michael’s transformation becomes complete. Alone in the room with Vito, he holds his hand and whispers, “I’m with you now, Dad. I’m with you now.” Vito smiles, but obviously doesn’t understand what Michael really means.

Another great sequence comes near the end of the movie, which alternates between scenes of the baptism of Michael’s nephew and God-son and scenes of the assassination of the enemies of the Corleone family. The religious significance of the scene is made obvious, and its a method (along with the big family gathering at the beginning of the movie) that Francis Ford Coppolla would return to in both Godfather sequels.

And Pacino isn’t the only one who delivers a great performance. Marlon Brando, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton. The list of stellar performances in this movie goes on. It’s not hard to see why this movie always ranks near the top of every all-time top ten list.

Though I am Godfather veteran, this was the first time that Kellie had seen it. How did she like it ? Well, let’s just say that, tonight, mostly at her request, we’ll be watching The Godfather, Part II

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